On Hopes, Guilt, and Worries

****Part of a very long series: TO CANADA, I WILL GO****

It has been exactly six months since I started working on my application in the hopes of being a Canadian Immigrant with the help of my consultancy firm, Pinoycare Visa Center. It has been an extremely hard half year completing all the requirements as I manage a job as a nurse. And finally, my papers will now be lodged for filing.

I find it still difficult despite the fact that I already took my IELTS last year before starting all this application chaos; if I have not, I bet this agony would have warranted a much severe definition.

I always thought that completing all the requirements will be such a breeze for me, but no I was wrong. All those papers I need to complete compelled me to wait, ask favours, demand, and fight. There are also instances that I nagged my consultancy analysts because I believe I was being neglected. As much as they were helping me with my application, I felt it was not enough. I hate that they house their office in Cebu and I have to courier my papers there every now and then. As much as I am thankful for their help, I cannot say I can highly recommend their services.

Even as I am earning my own money and saving some for my Canadian future, to be honest, most of the money being spent for my dream is coming from my ever supportive and finance-genius mother. It makes me feel guilty that I could not fund myself while I have a stable job. All those fees are just so overwhelming, it’s just impossible I can have all those cash. We are like bleeding money here!

I hope that one day; I can read back this blog post and tell myself that I have repaid my mother a thousand folds… while building a snowman.

Last Sunday service, the officiating priest said, “To worry is to insult the Lord”.

 Maybe I have been worrying a lot these days without me knowing it, that’s why it’s taking a toll on my health. With this new development in my life, I let the Lord do his magic while I wait with my winter boots and trench coats.